A Professor

A Professor
The 3rd degree’s resident expert. Whether it’s dinosaurs or time machines you can be sure that A Professor knows all about it. On weekends A Professor likes to ride his penny farthing. The front wheel is bigger than the back wheel. Incredible!

Castaways (Stan)
Kevin, Stan and Tom are castaways on a deserted island. Kevin is insistent that they need to be gay with each other… for survival purposes. After all it is “Gay Island” well... Kevin  likes to call it “Gay Island” Stan wanted to call it “Adventure Cove”.

Man Vs Spider (Man)
It’s a battle of wits. Who will win the man or the spider? Probably the spider.

Mlak Mlak (Illustration)
Mlak Mlak is the Third Degree’s sponsored child. We send him $1.50 every month and he sends us letters and drawings of what he’s spent the money on.

Ned Kelly Master of Disguise
Edward Kelly is Australia’s most notorious bush ranger. Many believe that he was executed in 1880. But Ned is still alive. Using variations of his renowned armour to disguise himself. Ned’s exact whereabouts are unknown at this time.

Norm and Rooter (Rooter)
Norm and Rooter love a durry almost as much as they love a tinny. When something goes missing sooner or later it will return to the norm.

NYPD (Chief)
It’s tough being a cop in New York City. Especially when your chief is a hardass with a heart of gold who’s so close to retirement that he is never leaving the force.  Officer Kageti is a good cop loose cannon who has to constantly deal with aforementioned Chief. The Chief and Kageti both enjoy donuts but think that this coffee tastes like shit.


Paulie is a self proclaimed consumer “watchclock”. He is on a mission, tackling the big issues like “Why is gnocchi called pasta when it’s really potatoes?” or “Why do people say their name at Alcoholics Anonymous?” In his spare time Paulie likes to freestyle rap and performs under the pseudonym M.C. Stikkaz.

Phillip Mandrake
Phillip Suffers from what some people would call “Buyer’s Remorse”. When Phillip goes shopping he often realises that he didn’t like the item he had purchased and promptly destroys it. It is unknown whether Phillip ,actually, likes anything.  We think he likes ducks but we don’t want to test this theory.

Proletariat Psycho
Despite the fact that this man is cutting up human flesh. His words of wisdom ring true for the people.

Red Man and Green Man (Green Man)
Red Man and Green Man are two little men who work inside a set of pedestrian traffic lights. Green Man thinks that making a “Beedoop doop doop doop doop” noise is hilarious. Red Man thinks that Green Man is a dick.


Sergei Haminov
Russia’s Rubik’s cube champion since 1996. As a prominent Russian sportsperson Sergei provides endorsements for many products and companies. Sergei also holds two world Rubik’s cube championships (1998, 2002).  and is currently in training for the 2006 world championships to defend his title.


Social Suicide Bomber
Have you ever been trapped in an awkward situation that you couldn’t escape. Well call a Social Suicide Bomber. They’ll be sure to out awkward the awkward. Whether you need a pterodactyl impersonation or a talking fish. Our professional Social Suicide Bombers will cater to your situation.

Svnday Arvo Slavghter (Gaius)
Quintus, Gaius and Dermott host Svnday Arvo Slavghter. The commentary show accompanying Rome’s gladiatorial matches. As well as the commentary the lads also provide hilarious ad parodies and cross-dressing shenanigans



Truman Capote (Truman Capote)
Author of “Breakfast at Tiffanies” and “In cold blood”. Truman Capote is currently trying to broaden his employment opportunities by obtaining new skills. Oh… and there’s two of him.

Underground (Guy)
These two emo kids think that it’s not cool to like stuff that people think is cool. But liking something uncool is underground therefore cool. They’re favourite band is nothing who play neo-industrial post-emo punk funk electroclash thrashabilly screamo house ghettotech, their acoustic album is especially hardcore.

Unicorn Bogan
Once upon a time, far away, in a mystical land a witch cast a spell on a bogan making him drunk. In his stupor he slept with Quendandor, Queen of the unicorns. Unicorn Bogan was the offspring of those events.